A slave rambling

   How I desire to feel leather cuffs around my wrist and ankles. My arms raised above my head and attached to a hook. My bare legs spread apart and secured with a spreader bar. A red rubber ball gag fills my mouth, permitting me only to moan and drool. A soft silky blindfold blocks my site and only heighten the anticipation of what's to come. Mistress walks in a circle around me dragging her finger over my naked flesh. Stopping every once in a while, leaving her finger linger for a moment. Just long enough for me to feel her make a couple gentle swirls, causing my nerves to spring to life in expectation of Mistress next move. Only to have her continue the circling of her helpless prey. Finally you hear Mistress boot stop their march right in front of me. I can feel her warm breath upon my skin, and I get a good smell of her perfume as she leans into me and blows in my ear. My poor penis twitches in it steel prison, straining with a futility to stand erect. Mistress laughs at the site of my poor cock doing it's orgasmic dance for Mistress amusement. I hear the sound of air being sliced, seconds before I feel the business end of a crop striking one nipple than the next. This repeats back and forth for awhile on my chest. When my tender nipples are properly warmed up. I hear Mistress pull something from her person. It sounds like metal as the item strikes upon itself. Mistress then rolls and pinch each nipple until they are fully erect. I know now what is coming and do not have to wait long before feeling the bite of the first clamp and the second only moments later. My lungs filled with air, and my groin pulses with renew vigor, as the sensation of electric bolts race out from my nipples and arcs through every nerve in my body.
   Well that is how I would see a scene play out in my mind, or some might say fantasy. To tell you the truth I have no idea of a real life Mistress and slave relationship would be. I have that one image of the BDSM lifestyle that is revealed in the pages of erotica and those short porn clips on the internet. But I ask myself is that really it, or is their more. What is a 24\7 relationship, you can't always be in character, if that is the right way to say it. Are the erotica stories true. Do slaves remain naked at home? Do slaves go to work or out on the town wearing a remote vibrating device. Is going to see a profession domme the same as serving a lifestyle domme? And really what does it mean to serve your Mistress, Master or Owner? A lot of questions I am asking the universe, or is it just babbling pointlessly.
   I realize very young I like being tied up. I was the kid that wanted to get tied up while playing cowboys and indians. Then life happened, I grew up, found a job, got married, bought a house, had a family, built a business. After that life became complicated, I had a mental breakdown, had to close the business, leave the house and move into a rental townhouse. I lost a major amount of my mobility from all the abuse I put on my back throughout my career, and having surgery on my back failed to improve it.
   The rock bottom is not a great place to be, but it does have a silver lining. Their is only one way to go and that is up. So I started climbing, and it is starting to pay off. There is light piercing the darkness, Small as the light is, there is a glimmer of hope. It is in this hope that I am examining myself, In that examination one of the things I started exploring is my interest in bondage and tied and teased, and that desire to explore the lifestyle that is BDSM. First my fetish is not inspired by the trilogy  "The Fifty Shades of Grey". In fact I was disappointment in novels. No my lust comes from years of sitting on the outside looking in, wanting and wishing but never stepping. I tried to introduce my wife to bondage and kink, but she has no interest. I never worked up the courage to visit a Dominatrix, not to mention staying faithful to my family. I am trying to figure out my submissive side with social media. I am still very much a rookie at this. Some inroads have been made. I met my lovely Mistress on social media, and I excepted being collared as her long distance slave. Now I am happily under contract and owned by her until next winter. After that if Ma'am still wants me, I will sign a year contract. A last I still ache to be restrained, teased and to be kept wondering if a climax is in my cards. I tried scratch that itch with erotic M/s hypnosis. I listened to many files and many different Dommes, but I never felt like I was bound and dominated. With that time will March on. Tomorrow  another year pass and I turn 49 years old. If it was possible the birthday present I would like. Is the answer to my question, How does a slave serve his Mistress. We all have wishlist as to what we would like happen to us. But what is a Dommes wishlist, other than the slave must obey every command. 48 years have passed. I do not want to be on the outside looking in anymore. I want to finally climb out of that hole, step through the door into the light and live again.